Feeding and Finding My Peace

I’m sorry it has been so long since my last post. Life has been nothing short of a rollercoaster ride these past few months. I won’t bore you with the details, but there have been family issues involving my drug addict long lost half brother, I didn’t get accepted to Radiography school, I’ve been turned down for a few job positions, I have started trying to expand my photography (and hope to develop a part-time career of that in the future), and I am currently waiting to find out today if I have been accepted to UNCP to finish up a Bachelors Degree and teach Middle School. If I have been accepted, classes start next week, so it doesn’t appear that life will be slowing down anytime soon. Phew! Like I said, there has been quite a bit going on. Not to mention my church has it’s annual Harvest Day fundraiser event coming up in October, and of course I am organizing the car show for the second year in a row. Thank God I have been blessed with some good help this year, but it is still quite a big job going business to business soliciting sponsors and pleading for door prizes! Keep us in your prayers that this event will be a huge success and a blessing to all. It supports such a wonderful cause, and the devil sometimes tries to get in the way, but God prevailed last year, and will again this year!

That’s enough about that, but needless to say, lately I’ve relished the bit of downtime (if you can call it that) that I get. When I say downtime, in all honesty I mean feeding the horses. Yes, its still an activity or a chore I suppose, but as a whole, it is one of my favorite parts of the day. When I am going pasture to pasture feeding the horses I get to experience the quietness of the farm, and the contentment of all the animals we have. These are the times that I feel closest to God and can really count my blessings. The farm is such a beautiful place at all hours of the day, and I just can’t help but feel God’s presence- This is a feeling that is only increased when I see the beautiful horses he has entrusted in our care.

These majestic creatures are such an example to me in my faith, even when they are simply out grazing in the pasture. The majority of the time the horses are walking around aimlessly, grabbing bites of grass here and there, with no hurry to be anywhere. They are the true picture of contentment. They have no worries. They know they have shelter if it rains, they know they will have plenty of food, they know they have access to water, they have their companions, and they know that we are there for them. They have their basic needs met, and not a worry in the world when they are out in the pasture. It makes me assess my own life because I too have my basic needs met, but even on the good days, I still find something to stress and worry, or be unhappy about. That is why I enjoy feeding time so much. It feels like time stops and that there is room to breathe.

In the mornings I get to see the dew glistening on the grass, see the birds flying around and chirping happily, and see the horses moseying around in no big hurry. The bugs are just beginning to come out at this point, and the North Carolina humidity is just becoming oppressive. Even in just the few moments it takes to feed the horses, make sure everyone has on their fly masks, and that no one is injured, one can’t help but break a sweat. It’s okay though, because aside from the glistening skin and persistent swatting of gnats and deer fly, there’s a certain peace to the mornings on the farm.

(iPhone pic of Riata in Sunrise. Sorry for bad quality!)

Lately we have had dozens of egrets and geese gracing our fields as well. It is quite comical to see the white birds following the horses around everywhere in hopes that a snack may surface. The geese on the other hand are quite territorial and often I will see an egret get just a little too close and I can hear the sharp hisses and honks of the protesting geese as they chase them off. (I am hoping to get some photos of this one day soon to share with you…maybe with the new camera I am getting for my birthday!) These are the moments you cannot experience inside the walls of a building or the rush of a city, that help me cherish (and want more of) the slow moments in life.

In the evenings the heat and humidity (and mosquitos) are nearly unbearable, but the skies here are beautiful. The horse are normally drenched with sweat, but still all to eager to eat. I hear their neighs before I see them, and sure enough, there they are lined up down the fences of their pastures staring holes through me, demanding their dinner. I call them by name, and yes, I speak to them as if they are people, having one-sided conversations apologizing for not having fed them earlier, and asking them to quite fussing at me……. You may think I am crazy, but I feel like most animal people have conversations with the furry friends- don’t act like you don’t!…… Lately, I’ve felt that all I am to them is the food truck, but oh well. At least I can be the food truck to my own horses, and all I have to do is walk out the door to see them

(Riata in Sunset)

There is a routine to feeding, and it allows my mind the chance to escape and appreciate the life I have. After each horse has their evening food, I take the opportunity to simply survey my surroundings. It’s the little things that prove to be so relaxing: the swish of the horse tails, the occasional stomp of a hoof, the sight of a V of geese flying overhead to the pond, the colors of the sunset, the sound of the water hose filling up the horse buckets and the whisper in the tiny breeze that gives me chills every time.

If you live in, or have experienced a North Carolina summer, you will understand that these chills are not due to feeling cold, but rather a reaction to a feeling of the Holy Spirit! There is something about that evening sun shining on me and the gentle wind wrapping around me that makes me feel as though God is right beside me, telling me that He is always with me and will never forsake me. I think that so often I get wrapped up in the business and stress of life, that these methodical, simple, routine moments are when my mind and heart are quiet enough to hear and feel the presence of God. As soon as I am done feeding, life often returns to its usual hustle and bustle, but I wouldn’t trade those small moments for anything.

Happy Trails and God Bless,

Jami